1.Stand up straight..
Exercise daily (This could be as little as twenty pushups a day for example). Yoga included.
Meditate for 1 hour a day. Trust me, you will have a broader control of your mind, body, and spirit.
2.Eat more greens in your diet,...
we are what we eat. I’m not saying to go full vegan, but the benefits of eating more greens is undeniably worth it.
3.Look people and especially women, in the eye.
(It’s going to be awkward at first, but they’ll definitely remember you if you held proper eye contact)
4.Sit confidently.
Put your arm on the back of your chair and keep your legs spread. This signifies dominance and confidence.
5.Ask yourself what you want, then, go get it
Speak slower, and move at your own pace
Have a firm handshake with everyone you meet
6.Have proper hygiene.
Brush your teeth, apply a PROPER amount of cologne (three squirts maximum), wash your face, style your hair properly, and most importantly wear deodorant and take a shower.
7.Be respectful to all, always.
You can never expect respect if you don’t give it to others.
8.Expand your mind, read a book.
Yes that’s right, READ. If you aren’t a good reader that’s fine, listen to audiobooks of the books you love most. Reading causes your imagination to run wild, which helps for gaining intelligence.
9.Have your own unique mature style.
Don’t be like everyone else in this millennial age. Supreme is only cool for example because society says it’s cool. But do you think it’s cool to buy and wear? If not, then don’t settle with what the world wants you to wear. Dress nicely and elegantly like a gentleman with nice clothes that fit you.
10.Every human being on this earth makes judgements.
As someone who used to struggle with social anxiety, I embraced the fact that everyone makes judgements, even me, all the time. So try to stop worrying about leaving a perfect impression on everyone else. Just be you. Embrace YOU.
11.Never put women on a pedestal.
Women are human, spoiler alert, so are you. So then why do we treat beautiful women like they are gods among animals? Because we don’t know how to deal with them as a normal person besides being mesmerized by their beauty and charisma. Women will fall for the man that respect and pursue them. The respect will always remain, the pursuing however, is a different story. When you speak and treat a beautiful “perfect” woman with confidence, looking her in the eyes, maintaining good posture, project an aura of calm warmth, laugh with her, make casual ways to make her smile, and finally, treat yourself, her, and others around you with respect. Women will definitely remember and view you differently compared to other men. Women are just as fallible as you are as a man. They poop, make mistakes, have fears, doubts, insecurities, and desires (good or bad) just like YOU. Be yourself, own who YOU are, there is no one else like YOU. So own it.
12.Get rid of porn.
Forget about pleasuring yourself in the moment, focus on why you’re doing it in the first place. Will this help me view women with respect? Would my parents be proud of this? Should I be proud of this? Will this help me grow my confidence sexually and overall? The answer is no. Don’t allow yourself to become addicted to pornography, you are better than that. Focus on improving yourself, working out, reading a book, listening to music, reading informative web sites, playing a sport, texting or calling your friend, or having a real meaningful discussion with the most important people in your life. Use these different things as something to do when you may find yourself feeling tempted to watch porn. Remember to tell yourself that you have control over your penis, it doesn’t control you. MIND OVER MATTER. Pornography is many things, reality however, is not one of them.
NOFAP. I know all you guys reading this asking “didn’t this guy just say no porn, now I shouldn’t masturbate?!” Yes, you heard me. And yes, while I was skeptical at first, once I tried it, by the seventh day of no masturbation; the amount of energy that I gained and the social anxiety that left me was completely out of this world and reached a height I never expected to reach during my journey of self- transcendence. Guys, each time we masturbate we release proteins, nutrients, potassium, calcium, zinc, fructose and more importantly, testosterone. Before you start shaking your head, consider this thought, what is semen for? To create a healthy, living, breathing human being! So of course there is going to be a ton of nutrients and energy inside your semen. Your energy if retained, will flow through your body and mind and give you the masculinity you had lost through PMO (Porn Masturbation Orgasm). Semen is your life force energy, and by channeling your sexual urges and energy will you gain self discipline, mental clarity, more sexual energy, libido, and attraction to your partner, an escape from one of the most common addictions among men, an astronomical abundance of energy and confidence, assertiveness (because of the channeling of your testosterone, and the reward of a more vibrant, confident, sexually fulfilling life.
13.Don’t pretend you are something you are not to impress a guy or a girl.
Stay true to who you are, love yourself, and find the person that is willing to stay in a healthy, long lasting relationship with you.
14.Women, (and men) don’t compare yourself to others on social media.
Women, you are beautiful, so then why do you compare your looks to others and determine your self worth in that manner? You don’t need a perfect Instagram page, you don’t need to post pictures of yourself constantly in bikinis hoping for some approval. True confidence comes from within, not from the approval or attention from others. Come to love and understand yourself by looking deep inside and thinking about your potential as a woman. If you are self conscious about your weight for example, work out. Be the most healthy version of yourself and be who you want to be. Women and men, don’t rely on other people to determine your worth. Find real, authentic loving friends who love and care for you just the way you are.
15.Women and men, don’t look at the things that are wrong with you, love what you think is the best about you.
If you don’t hate something enough to change it, learn to love yourself, and accept the beautiful being you are, not the thousand followers on your Instagram.
16.Women, don’t rely on your boyfriend to bring you happiness.
When you rely on someone to bring you happiness and value, you are codependent, and constantly needing validation. True happiness comes from within, by loving and taking care of yourself and striving to become the best version of yourself possible.
17.Men, it’s OK and completely normal to show emotions.
It shows you are HUMAN, so don’t be ashamed to cry when something truly touches your heart. Or when you feel the urge to cry for someone else and their struggles. The most confident men are capable of showing emotions, being vulnerable, and living confidently afterwards. It is not a sign of weakness to display a physical sign of empathy or sympathy for someone else.
18.Practice authentic Altruism.
Don’t ever brag to your potential partner or anyone else about how you “did the right thing.” Big deal. Although not everyone does these things, it’s expected as a member of society. So stop bragging about it and recognize why you’re doing it in the first place. Whether that’s standing up for a victim of bullying, giving money or food to the homeless, assisting the blind or old person walk the street safely, you will gain confidence. “Remember. Every day, some ordinary person does something extraordinary. Today, it’s your turn.” -Lou Holtz
19.Be a leader.
People look up to their leaders because they project confidence and provide their followers a sense of comfort while they are in command. If you are an introvert (like myself) and you don’t like having to verbally control a bunch of immature teenage baboons, be a leader by example. This could be by doing more than what’s expected of you, engaging people in a group project (while giving respect to all members), projecting confidence, treating others with respect, practicing authentic altruism, and being an overall good person.
20.Provide your own insight and wisdom in other people’s lives when asking you for advice.
When a friend or loved one approaches for advice, don’t shrug your shoulders and say “I don’t know.” The moment you can help others with their lives you’ll be able to recognize how you can face and fix yours.
21.Seek therapy.
I understand not everyone can afford one, but if you can, and you find yourself as prisoner in your mind with depression or anxiety ruling over you, please, do not hesitate to seek help from a professional who’s top priority is to put you into a position to become the best version of yourself possible. The strongest, most confident people aren’t the ones who deal with their struggles on their own, it’s the ones who are confident enough to admit that sometimes you can’t solve every obstacle that life throws at you. When I found help for my anxiety, my life had changed for the better, I created a deep professional bond with my therapist, who taught me how to calm my mind by staying in the present moment, and by meditating in peace.
22.Smile.
Whenever you are feeling anxious or down in a social situation, excuse yourself, (if possible), head to the bathroom stall, look at your self in the mirror and smile. Genuinely smile, like you’re laughing for 20–30 seconds, and stand up straight afterwards and walk out of there ready to kick life’s ass with confidence and happiness.
23.Take control of the little voice in the back of your head that tells you that you can’t.
Whenever you hear that little voice say “They are too good for you.” Or “What’s the point? You weren’t going to get the promotion anyway.” Don’t just ignore it, prove it wrong. “It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” -Edmund Hillary
24.Learn to say NO.
My confidence was at its lowest when I allowed people to walk all over me. Now that I have realized my worth, I’ve never felt so alive. When someone asks for a favor, think about your reason for doing it. Do you truly care about this person? Do you have the time and energy? Are you doing this to people please, or to truly help? Learning to say no helps set healthy boundaries and allows you to help others for the right reasons with pure intentions. You will gain respect if you don’t allow people to push you around, learn to say no, enforce your deserving boundaries, and you will gain confidence when dealing with other people and conflicts in life.
25.Step outside your comfort zone every once in a while.
If it’s homecoming, prom, or an office party, you don’t have to stay there the whole time. Go in, use these tips, and have fun. And if you don’t like it, you’re free to leave at anytime. Not just for homecoming and prom, but for any social occasion. Try to experience a party at least once in your life. This is only for those who want to gain self confidence however. If you are a confident introvert such as myself, don’t force yourself to go to every social occasion. If you truly are confident in who you are, this tip should only be used once in a while.
26.Get rid of toxic people in your life.
You are a wonderful, unique, beautiful human being that deserves to be valued and respected by reliable, trusting individuals who love you for who you truly are. The moment I got rid of my peer pressuring, drug using, negative sociopathic friends, I moved on and found new ones. These friends love me for who I am, and respect my choices and opinions. We laugh together and support each other every day. It’s the greatest experience ever. You deserve to experience real, true friends who you can lean on, and share your deepest philosophies and desires in this world. Find those who embrace you for who YOU are, and who are willing to provide a shoulder to lean on when life knocks you down.
27.Confidence doesn’t come over night.
The most confident people out there, weren’t exactly born confident. They practiced by pushing themselves out of their comfort zones, practicing confident body language, knowing their worth, being leaders, and living life to the fullest.
28.Live your life as if there was an audience watching you.
Take a step back, and imagine this as a reality (yes you, who’s reading this). Introspect, and think about your life up until this point. What do you think the audience is thinking of the film? Will they be proud and inspired from your characters growth and maturity? Will they fear and detest your selfishness? Will they be filled with anger and resentment because of your cowardice and irresponsibility? Will they be entertained by your superficial lifestyle of fame and fortune, but leave the theaters empty and unfulfilled? Will they mourn and pity your suffering and unfortunate circumstances? Will they be yelling at the screen in hopes that you will awaken from your defense mechanisms in relationships, negative attitude, and crushing addictions? Will they be attracted to your charm and influence, and find themselves envying your charisma? Will they admire your courage and generosity? Will they be filled with tears of joy witnessing the joy and happiness you’ve spread across humanity through your leadership, confidence, and love? Will they be influenced to venture on the quest to discover the creature that is judging and analyzing your life story, themselves? Will the critics be raving at the masterpiece that was your life? It’s your story, write it!
29.Never conform to the ways of this world, especially since the world never knew why it needed to conform in the first place.
In a world where you can choose either positivity and love, in spite of negativity and apathy, why not love?
30.We are all Kings and queens, our happiness and destiny is our kingdom.
Only the foolish Kings allow corrupt people to enter the kingdom and destroy it with deception and negativity. The wise king however, only allows those who seek to empower his kingdom. As king, let those who bring your kingdom up enter. Too often, most Kings and Queens forget their true origins, and spend the rest of their lives in a tight man made structure building an outsider’s kingdom. All the while, you forgot that you even had a kingdom in the first place. This is the uncomfortable truth, too often we forget and misplace our kingdom. We allow the world and naysayers to enter our kingdom and do with it as they please, and remain there for the rest of their lives. A true king preserves, protects, and defends his kingdom. Conduct a search warrant for those who seek to tear down your kingdom, and cast them out for good. You are a king, this is your kingdom, your destiny.
Imagine a world with no people in it. Just you. What would you do? Would you be regurgitating useless information? Would social media rule over you and your happiness and authenticity? Would you be indoctrinated into becoming a follower, instead of the natural leader that burns within your soul? Are you excited to work a good o’l 9-5 office job? By creating an enemy’s empire, while never unlocking the courage, drive, or creativity to create your own? You are not a robot. You are a living, breathing, soulful human being. Our soul in this world without people desires and yearns to be free! So what happened in this world? Where is the inner child that brought you the joy, innocence, and curiosity to love, live, and inspire? Don’t lose hope. While the world has taken billions of the souls that brought us courage, happiness, authenticity, love, peace, curiosity, and FREEDOM; it won’t take yours. Make a promise to yourself, that you are the author of your own story, not the world. You cannot trap the soul of the human being, it can only roam free. Listen to your soul, be free.
It is by uncovering our dreams that we are able to identify our soul, but it is how badly we chase those dreams that make us who we are.
30.Recognize and accept the inevitable.
Every single human being on this earth will die one day. Do you know when you’re going to die? No. Then treat every day like it could be your last. Are you going to allow fear to take control over your life and keep you from making wonderful memories and having experiences in the world? I thought not. “Carpe Diem”, Seize the day! So whenever you have an opportunity to make a new connection, to speak up against ignorance, to defend the oppressed, to inspire those in need, what are you waiting for? Life is meaningless unless we give it purpose. And so I ask you, and everyone what's yours.